Barbara Olson

The Miracle That Happens

I started drinking at age 13. By the time I was 24, I had dropped out of college, been married and divorced, and was raising two little girls by myself. I never got in trouble with the law, and on the outside I probably appeared to function normally, but inside I was desperate. I was to the point where I hated myself, and I no longer wanted to live, but I was afraid to die. The last time I drank, I started drinking at home on a Saturday morning and when I came to on Sunday, my girls weren't there, and I couldn't remember where I took them. God gave me the clarity that morning to see what I had become and enough honesty to reach out for help. I began a journey that gave me a whole new life.

When I first got sober, there were not many young people in recovery in this area, and there were few women. At my first meetings I looked at all of the older men in the rooms and was sure they had nothing to offer me. I discovered that when we are fighting for our lives in recovery, age, gender and background make no difference. The people who took the time to save my life were probably the last ones I expected to help me.

I have not found it necessary to take a drink or mood-altering drug for many years, and I am grateful every day for that. I was fortunate enough to quit drinking when my first two children were very young so they have no memories of their mother drinking, and I have raised my other three children completely sober. When I was in early recovery, I was afraid of my employer finding out that I was an alcoholic, but I no longer hide the fact that I am in recovery from anyone. My life today is full, and I am richly blessed with friends, family, a great job and an inner peace I couldn't even imagine when I walked into my first meeting. I have been sober for a while, but I can still vividly remember the way I felt when I got here. I know how hard it is to reach out for help. I had a lot of preconceived ideas about what addicts and alcoholics were before I got into recovery, and most of them were wrong.

I am speaking out about my recovery because I want other people to have the opportunity to find the life that I have found. In the beginning I thought that if I could quit drinking, that would be all I got, but there is a miracle that happens inside of us when we truly live a life of recovery that gives us the opportunity for a whole new life. I want that miracle for everyone who is out there suffering from addiction.

*This story represents Barbara's recovery journey as of 3/3/10.